191206

Joke of the Day

"DIVORCE & CIRCUMCISION Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck."

"I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo."

"Life tip - buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift. You are welcome."

"Ey gurl, is your name Andromeda? Because you got a heavenly body! It's 5:50AM and I still can't sleep."

"I wanna make a toast, to all of you. But i have no bread."

"What does a cow measure its harddrive in? Moogabytes"

"What is Michael J Fox's favourite song? Shake It Off by Tayler Swift"

"Just been offered a 42 Plasma TV for 100. Only problem is the volume control is broken, I thought fuck it, at that price you can't turn it down."

"You know what? Chicken Butt!"

"How did the redditor get lots of downvotes? What is a pirate's favourite letter?"