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Joke of the Day

"Steven Hawking nearly died last year. Luckily they sorted him out, they just switched him off and back on again."

"A wife in big doses is poison, in small doses medicine."

"Hell yes, I have the body of a Greek god: nice abs, expressionless eyes, genitals shot off by bored soldiers during The Franco-Prussian War"

"This year's presidential election shares the same tagline as the 2004 movie ""Alien versus Predator"". ""Whoever wins... We lose."""

"If my liver was a person, it'd be Doris, the 50 year old waitress pouring coffee at the truckstop for 35 years & smoking since she was born."

"What do you call a drunken asshole? Alcohole."

"*gets so drunk I grab a fish out of your fish tank and shakes it at you screaming ""WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THIS?!"" *"

"Asian Jokes are just wong"

"What did the Elk say after leaving a gay bar? I cannot believe I just blew 50 bucks back there!"

"how did the constipated... How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem... He just worked it out with a pencil."