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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Asians make good Knights? Because then there would be a chink in the armor."

"I give myself an excuse for watching porn. By pretending I'm watching ""How it's made: Babies"" on youtube."

"Every time I approach girls they inexplicably shoot away from me. Can't say definitively if I have the force but... The correlation is strong with this one."

"Tit for tat My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, ""Well Shona? Do you think you'll be next?"" We settled this quickly once I started doing the same to them at funerals."

"What are Mario's overalls made of? Pixels."

"To everyone with a motorcycle: your motorcycle is very loud & we are all very proud of you."

"I keep a picture of a dragon fighting a helicopter in my wallet, in case the police ask to see my license for awesome."

"Know-it-alls think themselves a fountain of knowledge. In truth they are an oil spill of knowledge... Unwelcome and hard to get rid of."

"You know you're getting old when your decision to sleep with someone is mostly based on the quality of their mattress and pillows."

"If your name is Nancy and you get pregnant you will be pregnancy."