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Joke of the Day

"""NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK"" k ""NOT ""K"" THIS IS IMPORTANT"" Sorry ""THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT"" Even fish? *THUNDER* ""NO NOT FISH"

"Why is a gay God purty cool? Because he makes two Adams smash together"

"Sarcasm: my second favorite -asm."

"So I called Amazon customer support to try and get credit for a late package. They said no. They cut me down in my Amazon Prime."

"Your insistence on having your father walk you down the aisle may seem odd to some Especially considering the two of you are only going grocery shopping. _______________ I stole this joke."

"Now that Platini has been banned from football... Who's going to make all the sticker albums?"

"Frank's Girlfriend Frankfurter walks into his favorite bar holding a curvy Hamburger by the hand. ""Hi guys,"" he says. ""Meet my girlfriend, Patty."""

"How do old people go to the bathroom? Depends."

"Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence? He had no prior convictions."

"Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device."