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Joke of the Day

"Julius Caesar bought a Google GPS and said, 'Youtube, route us'."

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"What is Wilford Brimley's favorite band? The Beatis."
"If you ever feel sad remember that there's a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes."
"What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They drive slow in school zones"
"Sometimes I wake up crabby. Sometimes I let her sleep in."
"Lord, protect me from my friends, I can take care of my enemies."
"how do trains fall in love? it attracks another one."
"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? [nsfw] I don't fuck my sandwich before I eat it. (Although they're terrible I can't help but to love dead baby jokes)"
"Girls aren't hard to understand They don't have dicks."
"I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I'll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I'm so lonely."