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Joke of the Day
"(while falling down a well) god damnit i forgot to grab my phone charger"
Next Joke
"What does a gay mans penis taste like? Shit!"
"Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien."
"If I ever commit suicide, I wanna jump off a cliff w/an open umbrella so people wonder if I thought it would bring me safely to the ground."
"Some parents count to 10 to get their kids to behave. I use a similar technique where I string out crime scene tape and fire up a chainsaw."
"A man is found dead surrounded by 53 bicycles. How did he die? He had an ace up his sleeve."
"Never fall in love with a tennis player Love means nothing to them"
"TIL why Conservatives don't use birth control. Boys don't get pregnant."
"I came back from vacation with a serious addiction ...to the hokey-pokey, but I turned myself around."
"Opposing counsel licks his thumb every time he turns a page in his file and basically I didn't even know this rage inside me existed."