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Joke of the Day
"""Can't touch this."" ""Can't touch this."" ""Can't touch this."" --MC Hammer giving a Museum tour"
Next Joke
"Never sky dived before, but I just zoomed google maps way too fast. Pure adrenaline."
"There's a cool sport called Volcano Diving..... You'll only do it once."
"Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nevermind, it's too long."
"What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters? Weeeeeeeee!!!"
"Coffee so hot you pretend not to notice it when you're out with your wife."
"Skydiving without a parachute... Is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I heard this on a spotify ad and it cracked me up. I thought I'd share it.:) Edit: fixed an auto correct mistake"
"They laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian... They're not laughing now."
"Me: It's been 3 years, but I'm finally making progress on my book. Friend: You're writing a book? Me: No. I meant the book I'm reading."
"What's the illuminati's favorite month? Jew-Lie"