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Joke of the Day

"I have a new low score on the Wells Fargo game I downloaded on my iPhone."

"I'm told I sleep like a baby. ... I wake up crying every few hours"

"What did the bathtub say to the toilet? I get a lot of ass but I don't take no shit"

"This entire pizza told me thigh gaps are for queers."

"What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds? Chevy Chase."

"A seal walks into a bar... And the bartender says ""what will it be?"" The seal replies ""I'm fine with anything as long as it's not Canadian club."""

"[NSFW]Honey, I bought flavored condoms... - ... switch off the lights and guess the flavor! - Sardines with cheese! - Wait for me to put it on!"

"Say what you want about Russian Athletes But their training regimen is pretty dope"

"""I was going to watch a German football team play today, but I couldn't leave the house because I don't know where I left the key."" ""Bayern?"" ""No, I checked the mantelpiece."""

"My heart say ""Yes"" But my mom says ""No"""