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Joke of the Day

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"My boss is sick of my comedy at work and says if I tell one more joke then I'll be fired! Well, I'll have the last laugh"

"I think I'm gonna just be a rapper. apparently you need zero experience, and zero talent to be a millionaire in the rap game now?"

"How do we know a blind man created mermaids? He smelled the bottom half of a woman.."

"why doe s porn hub even have a share to google + button? I dont want any one to know i have a google +..."

"How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb? A what?"

"If accounts on every social media site have taught me anything it's that I'm so glad my family doesn't know my username."

"Why were the Star Wars made IV, V, VI, I, II, III? Because in charge of distribution, Yoda was."

"I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list. I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard..."

"Twitter is like a very demented game of The Sims. Everyday I check to see how my people are doing and make sure they're still alive."