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Joke of the Day

"If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I'm very skilled at shooting aliens this way"

"I once challenged Snoop Dogg to a rap battle and the loser had to change their name."

"In space, no one can hear you scream. In cyberspace, no one can shut you up."

"How do you make Ben Carson yell? Watch a movie with him."

"Hard to believe the Cubs last won the World Series 108 years ago. Most of them don't look a day over 30."

"Q: How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs? A: By their names."

"Why are do many Italian-Americans named Tony? When they came to Ellis Island, not one of them could speak a lick of English, but they all had ""To NY"" on their hats."

"Sex while camping... It's in tents."

"My wife was acting crazy recently. Now I have to remove her blood from the carpet. Her menstrual blood."

"What do you call a man who can't stand? Neal"