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Joke of the Day

"""I'm thinking of running a marathon again."" I told my friend. ""You've run a marathon before?"" she asked, with an air of admiration. I said, ""No, but I've thought about it."""

"Arcade Fire: great band / nerd way to die"

"Its funny how guys always say they would give their left nut to do something awesome. Why is the right nut so much cooler than the left nut?"

"As a child my girlfriend loved train sets Most of my adult friends thinks its weird she still plays with them. I think it's perfectly normal for a 6 year old."

"If I had a nickel for every time I had sex, I would ask my pimp for a raise."

"Dear Hollywood, after all the 3D movies, I've decided my 3 favorite dimensions are: 1) width, 2) height, and 3) character development."

"Opening a bag of M&M's will produce no sound to a normal human. A toddler, it's like the atomic blast at Nagasaki to those creatures"

"A sloth was robbed by 2 turtles Sloth robbed by 2 turtles. Cop asks if he could describe the assailants. Sloth replies, ""It all happened so fast."""

"""Elementary Logic"" (revised edition), by one of the most influential analytic philosophers from Ohio brought to you by: Philosophy of Science subreddit"

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it's down the chimney."