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Joke of the Day

"bill nye is short for william new years eve"

"A grasshopper hops into a bar... The bartender sees him and says ""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper looks up and says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"If you crush a cockroach, you're a hero. If you crush a beautiful butterfly, you're a villain. Morals have aesthetic criteria."

"A Jamaican is asked, use Dandelion in a sentence ... He then says ... ""The cheetah is faster dandelion"""

"How do you keep a blonde busy? Write ""Please turn over"" on both sides of a page and hand it to her."

"Do you like water? Yes? Well, then you already like 60% to 70% of me."

"My friend tried to sell me a triangular monitor but I knew it was just a pyramid screen."

"What did the one tampon say to the other tampon? nothing, theyre both stuck up cunts edit: special thanks to justinjoytheride"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar Then into a chair Then into a table"

"Potentially offensive Muslim pick-up line [NSFW] Hey girl, are you prayer? Because I'd love to do you 5 times a day"