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Joke of the Day

"I genuinely want Trump to become the President. I've always wanted to see a president assassinated!"

"""IM GOING INTO LABOR"" -Mexican guy excited to start his first day of work."

"I'm drunk & I want a TV Special called ""Wizard Fight"" where David Copperfield, David Blaine and Cris Angel try to make each other disappear."

"My friends call me Superman, not because I help people, its because I wear the same clothes everyday"

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill."

"Why do white girls walk in odd numbers? Because they can't even"

"If you start a conversation with ""you're gonna say I'm crazy"" there's nothing I can do but to congratulate you on your clairvoyance."

"Ceilings were just ambitious walls."

"What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell? A hum dinger !"

"want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"