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Joke of the Day

"The scariest sound is an unknown crash followed by my 9 year old yelling ""It's OK! There's nothing wrong! You don't need to come up here"""

"Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge? To avoid car-pool tunnel!"

"Q: What kind of snake is good at building things? A: A boa constructor."

"You know, if grapes actually tasted like ""grape-flavored"" stuff then maybe life wouldn't seem like such a lie all the time."

"The Guyz l Shadowrun Returns l Razor Edge ep 3 l HE'S STILL THERE Hi, I'm Karmit, and I play video games...yeah... Well that's all I can really say. Just want to advertise stuff so...yeah...america..."

"How did the pig get to the hospital? In a hambulance."

"Did you hear about the transformer who lost his ability to change into a seven-sided shape? He's a de-septagon."

"You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras."

"Rick Astley is such a nice guy. He'll let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"I melted down all my various rewards cards into a universal ""Rewards Dagger"" that gets me a discount everywhere."