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Joke of the Day

"Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?"

"Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: [slams fist on dash] NO, WHY?! Cop: Settle down sir Me: [marries, has kids, gives up ambitions] Cop: ..."

"Always wash your clothes in tide Because it's way too cold out-tide"

"There are three types of people in this world... Those that can count, and those that can't."

"I got a job at the circus circumcising baby elephants. It pays peanuts, but the tips are huge."

"Did you know that ants are free? You can just take one!"

"What happened after the ugly man married the beautiful blonde? They had a wedding reception."

"Why Ahmed made a clock? To know when to blow up"

"How did the Linux admin commit assault? He sudo bashed someone."

"yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas."