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Joke of the Day

"Did you see that documentary about the death penalty? Tired concept, great execution."

"Absence might make the heart grow fonder; but Absolut makes my clothes go yonder."

"If I was Baltimore's head coach I'd probably just say ""That's so Ravens"" after every play."

"When I was younger, I always heard of people getting robbed at gunpoint. If there's been so many robberies, why do people keep going to gunpoint?"

"My friend started a business in Afghanistan selling land mines that look like prayer rugs.. He says prophets are going through the roof."

"Have you guys seen this? Have you heard about this? Wow, what a tewwific audience."

"im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason"

"What's worse than being struck by a lightning? Being struck by an iMac."

"After my most recent divorce, I'm now paying alimony to BOTH of my ex-wives... Owe for two."

"Girl can I get your digits? Jack the Ripper was a quite a pickup artist."