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Joke of the Day

"dont read space facts to try to calm yourself down bc it doesnt work.for example the moon is not round it is shaped like an egg. im furious"

"Every time I see an obese family at a buffet, I throw a sack of marbles onto the table and have a live showing of Hungry Hungry Hippos."

"Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny."

"Eight bytes walk into a bar... Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ""Can I get you anything?"" ""Yeah,"" reply the bytes. ""Make us a double."""

"I'm starting a plumbing supplies/computer software store. It will be called ""Shits & Gigs."""

"What does a pedophile order when he goes to a cannibal restaurant? Eh, just something off the kids menu."

"Ole! What does a fat white chick and a cinder block have in common???Both will eventually get laid by a Mexican!!!"

"How to fall down stairs * Step 1 * Step 2 * Step 4 * Step 15"

"What Google Drive app is reserved for Jews? Google Gasroom"

"Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians... Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs? Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting."