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Joke of the Day

"dont read space facts to try to calm yourself down bc it doesnt work.for example the moon is not round it is shaped like an egg. im furious"

"What does toilet paper and office paper have in common? You can write on both of them with a No. 2"

"I heard they found the plane.. Well at least Sarah Palin tweeted that she could see the wreckage from her house."

"*drives motorized scooter into meeting I'm late for, around the conference table, and out the door*"

"How much force does it take for the Carolina Panthers to lose a Playoff game. One Newton"

"I wish I could commute by roller coaster."

"Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER!"

"Thanks, but it's spelled ""sexiest"", not ""sexist"". Stupid woman."

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. What else smells like blue paint? Solvent abuse rehab"