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Joke of the Day

"What is Kim Kardashian's favorite sex position? On camera. Credit to this week's episode of *The Soup*."

"Whats the difference between Iron Man and iron woman? One is a superhero the other is a simple instruction"

"What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane ? A dandy lion !"

"Sea World announced they're not going to breed Orcas in captivity anymore... So now the only whales you'll see in a theme park are the American women"

"WHAT DO WE WANT AMERICA? ROCK HARD ABS!!! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? RIGHT AFTER WE FINISH THIS BOX OF DOUGHNUTS!!!"

"People who peel the entire banana before eating it are the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom."

"To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves"

"Two rules I live by #1 Never Take No for an Answer #2 No means No"

"Coworker *parks Prius Coworker 2 *locks bike up Me *bounces by on jumping exercise ball made of recycled tires* POSERS!"

"I like my women like I like my government. No Bush."