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Joke of the Day

"Want to know why everyone loves time warner cable? The loading times are out of this world."

"Where do you store a werewolf? In a were-house"

"So this Kristen Stewart cheating stuff... Still a better love story than Twilight."

"Son? ""Yes dad?"" If they ever put me on my death bed... I want you to... ""Yes?"" Tell those idiots to put me on a life bed instead wtf"

"What's crunchy on the outside and airy in the inside? A lightbulb."

"What piece of furniture can you find in a gay frat house? A bromosectional"

"Two men walk into a bar. The third one should've seen it coming."

"Why did Ms. Frizzle get fired from teaching Sex Ed? She told the class to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy."

"Seasons Greetings by Mary Christmas"

"[dinner table] gfs dad: so what do you do for a living me: human trafficking *he chokes* gf: he's a crossing guard dad"