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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? A: What a lavaly day!"

"What's the new Taken prequel going to be called? Taken Befour"

"The holiday season is coming up. Every year I make my parents something. I make them disappointed."

"What do you call someone who is really good at fishing? A master-baiter"

"What did the dentist in the porno say? ""Your teeth are the whitest I've come across."""

"Respond to every ""How was your weekend?"" today by staring off into the distance & whispering ""So much blood..."""

"At first I wasn't sure about my beard But it's growing on me"

"I was offered sex today... with a 21 year old and all I had to do was re-post a joke. I, of course, declined."

"I don't know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I fucking guarantee you they'd post pictures of them doing it on Facebook."

"I cheated on a girl that was a bartender. I hope she gives me another shot."