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Joke of the Day
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it."
Next Joke
"why pay kristen stewart millions of dollars when a cardboard cutout of kristen stewart will give the exact same performance for free"
"Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual? Because the pedals fell off."
"I thought I was wrong once.... but I was mistaken."
"So an Irishman walks out of a bar... Seriously, it happened."
"saw girl I have crush on with her new fiance at Ikea but you know what they say, when God closes a Stras Innjrden he opens a Fonstrvivig"
"A ham sandwich walks into a bar... He says to the bartender, ""Do you serve food here?"" The bartender replies, ""No."" So the ham sandwich walks out."
"Two tomatoes are sitting in a refrigerator One turns to the other and says: ""It's really cold in here"". and the other one says: [""JESUS CHRIST A TALKING TOMATO!!""](/spoiler)"
"casually discarding styrofoam container filled with buffalo wing remnants into the passing stroller of a baby"
"What do Stephan Harper and pennies have in common? They're both useless in Canada."