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Joke of the Day

"A man walked into an appliance store and asked the clerk, ""Do you sell color televisions?"" ""Yes,"" said the clerk. The man replied, ""Then give me a green one."""

"What is Dracula's favorite fruit? A nectarine."

"My husband got his hand stuck in the dishwasher. So of course I had to fire her."

"I saw my ex wife in a grocery store. ""Having fun there?"" I asked her, as she felt up the apples. ""Does that remind you of someone?"" She said, ""No, but this does,"" Then she started rubbing the grapes."

"I don't believe Prince Andrew paid for an underage sex slave. That sponger's never paid for anything in his life."

"A car dealership twice the size... ...can offer a whole lot more."

"What does a british man say when he's about to climax? I'm arriving"

"A friend of mine just got fired from his job as a butcher. Apparently he was offal."

"Q: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one."

"Girlfriend went to the neurologist to get a brain scan yesterday. Nothing showed up."