185333

Joke of the Day

"My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed."

"My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today ""what poison would kill someone the fastest?"" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her."

"At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?'"

"You know you've been friendzoned if a girl adds you as her brother on Facebook."

"What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot, you f'n racist!!"

"Know why I won't have two pet rocks? 'Cause I ain't raising no pebbles! .. Idk, my brother told me that years ago and I still think it's clever."

"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? Because he was out-standing in his field."

"Having a traditional Columbus Day. Headed to a casino to hand out blankets with smallpox on them."

"Still puzzled on how ""Colonel"" has gotten away with being spelled like that for so long."

"Where did vampires go to first in America? New-fang-land."