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Joke of the Day

"Why do they call ""roach-clips"", ""roach-clips""??? because potholder was already taken. I know it's like a venn diagram of drug jokes and dad jokes."

"What do you call a constipated detective? No shit sherlock."

"What do you call a chick who studies astronomy and has a big booty? Hubble butt."

"My wife said she would come back home to me if I promised to give up my obsession with wanking on the staircase. I said, ""Okay, but can we take it one step at a time?"""

"""Penguins mate for life. Isn't that romantic?"" You open your mouth to answer but I spit my chewed up cake into it. ""You're my penguin."""

"Have you seen www.hook.com? Yes it's already caught my eye."

"Dating is a lot like fishing Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod."

"*skips away in terror"

"I thought I'd found the perfect website to help me overcome my fear of flying until it crashed."

"If you're meeting someone, get to the place early so you'll have a few minutes to kick back and repeatedly text, ""Where are you"""