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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to get in shape and be more politically correct. I rehydrate with LGBTQtorade"

"Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself."

"Tony Abbot Nuff' said"

"Why didn't the bike move? It was two tired. Sorry^that^shit^made^no^sense"

"What did one egg say to the other? It's just a Yolk!!"

"According to WebMD, this hairy thing on my chest is a cat"

"hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?"

"Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead."

"Well, I'm going to take a hot shower. Its like a regular shower, but with me in it."

"I'm always a little disappointed when I walk away from my car and it doesn't explode after I press the lock button."