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Joke of the Day
"[on a 1st date] Me: I'm just looking to take things slow Her: *in a wedding dress* me too"
Next Joke
"Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach."
"My wife always finds a reason to hate every girl that I bring home."
"Why were the teachers eyes so crossed? She couldn't control her pupils."
"The Republicans asked the Democrats what it would take to stop being considered stupid. The democrats said ""Just put forth one presidential candidate who can make a brain surgeon look like an idiot."""
"How do Chinese name their kids? They throw silverware on the ground!"
"If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor."
"Did you hear about the cannibal who was late to dinner? Yeah, he got the cold shoulder."
"Two Jehovah Witnesses walk into a bar. LOL JK. They knocked."
"Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? Don't know they're just a bit shady."