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Joke of the Day
"One Liner I've smoked so much pot the zig zag man has a tattoo of me on his arm. [Jokes] #jokes"
Next Joke
"9/10 people think that mobbing at work is okay..."
"I told the cop I was an upstanding citizen But I was really lying"
"the blood of the innocent will run in the streets? maybe it should get a car or at least use the sidewalk"
"got so drunk last night that I ate a salad"
"Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself? Her: What's zombiefy? Me: ...Your hair looks great!"
"I've given up sexual innuendo for Lent... so far it's been pretty hard."
"A man brought a dead animal onto a plane... When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, ""It's my carrion luggage!"""
"A psychic sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He says ""You're about to jump from Empire State Building tomorrow."""
"INTERVIEWER: According to your resume, you like to ""move it move it."" ME: That's correct. I: It goes on like for... 30 pages. M: And?"