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Joke of the Day

"[calls up friend] Remember when you said I wouldn't ever make it on TV? Well turn on the news! ""Okay, but why are you calling from jail?"""

"Why was the meeting for impotent men cancelled? They knew no one would come."

"A Midget Walked Past Me On The Sidewalk Today Wearing A Shirt That Said ""I Hate Black People"" ...I thought to myself ""Well damn- thats a little racist."

"Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said ""I don't know about you but I can smell carrots!"""

"If you cool your body down to -273,16 degrees celsius.. ..you'd be 0K"

"Someone -- always a man -- always asks ""does the ship run on generators?"" The Cruise Director usually tells them ""No we just have a very long power line running to the mainland."""

"Lucky that guy in Good Will Hunting liked apples."

"nicole kidman please name your next child Teendude"

"So what do you think? New hair? No Shoes? No Bag? No Pants? No * 3 days later watching TV OMG u rearranged the living room - Men"

"OK THERE. DID I PASS YOUR STUPID SOBRIETY TEST YET? Cop: Sir, you're still laying on the ground where you fell down."