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Joke of the Day

"I'm a straight white guy who gets sad and is terrified of intimacy. Give me my own show! I am so unique!!!!!!"

"""Your finest Scotch, please."" ""Yes, sir,"" the guy at Staples says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape."

"Since we have several people participating in the debate tonight... Would it be considered a mass debate?"

"Goldsmiths, what is your profession? Au, Au, Au."

"it's easy as pie! 'what does that even mean?' *pie stumbles in drunk* pie: i just had sex with the homeless guy under the bridge 'oh'"

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet."

"What did the saxophone teacher say to his student? You have learned well young brasshopper."

"What do JFK, John Lennon and Donald Trump have in common? Nothing. But a man can dream."

"What did batman say to robin? Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. ""Get in the car, Robin"" Source http://badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/"

"What happens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner?? He breaks his nose."