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Joke of the Day

"Do you ever just stop and think about how snowmen standing out in the snow is like humans standing outside while it rains bits of flesh"

"What is yellow and lives off dead Beatles? Yoko Ono"

"Whooooaaaa, I'm halfway therrreee WHOOOAAAA, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRRR Take this wig, we'll fake it I swearrrrr WHOAOHH, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRR"

"What do you call a Gay Dinosaur? A Megasaurus"

"Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes I have. Well you shouldn't be so clumsy!"

"So a homeless man comes up to us... ""If I tell you a funny joke, would you pay me a quarter?"" My pal from Rhode Island say in a thick northeastern accent: ""I gotta funny joke fo' yah... Yah homeless."""

"I had to When my girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down"

"Say ""Rise Up Lights"" out loud You just said ""Razor Blades"" in an Australian accent"

"I wonder if Morgan Freeman talks himself to sleep every night."

"How does a orphan change a light bulb? They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb."