184273

Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken run into a well? Because it didn't see that well."

"I used to be a halogen Then I took a proton to the Ne."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up and in the freezer"

"What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack'olantern? Pumpkin pie!"

"I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?"

"DOCTOR: We were all out of blood for your transfusion so we used Mountain Dew ME: [I don't hear bc I already snowboarded out the window]"

"My dad said the key to a good marriage is ""never go to bed mad."" Then he said ""In fact, never go to bed at all!"" and handed me a bag of meth"

"Why the Indian programmers are good at C or Java, but not Basic? Because they're cast-sensitive!"

"What did the mom say when she found out her son took an unexpected trip north? I don't like your latitude!"

"You know how sometimes... You know how sometimes even when you're not hungry you'll get tempted to eat something just because it's in front of you? Well, that's how I lost my job as a gynecologist."