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Joke of the Day
"Secondary market that lets people sell their excess Twitter characters."
Next Joke
"Pub Quiz I did terribly in the Greek Mythology section of the Pub Quiz last night. You could say it's my Achilles Wrist."
"[two australians playing chess in a restaurant] check, mate *everyone explodes*"
"Why do lawyer's suits never have pants pockets? Because their hands are always in someone else's!"
"Global Wobbling now causes constipation http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2whgsnc&s=8#.VCJrcPldWQg"
"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his butt."
"I wonder... ...how many people will read this in the bathroom."
"How to wash dishes like a bachelor: 1. Put in sink 2. Wait"
"Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephant's milk. Whose baby was it? The elephant's!"
"Me: Alexa, did you hear what Siri just said about you?! Alexa: Hold my beer!!!"