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Joke of the Day

"A man carrying a tombstone walked up to a skeleton taking a break from his casket. He asked the skeleton, ""Is it okay if I leave this tombstone here?"" The skeleton replied, ""Yes, over my dead body."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! April ! April who ? April might make you feel better !"

"Manslaughter. The sound of a man laughing?"

"No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?"

"No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough."

"If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you're angry about oxygen and numbers."

"I bought some drugs from a shoe dealer They were unlaced, and I still got high as heel..."

"JUDGE: I hereby sentence you t- PENGUIN COURT REPORTER: *angrily smashing keyboard with flippers* CAN YOU GUYS SLOW DOWN A BIT"

"Why did the Sheikh cross the road? To get to the other wife."

"Why was Hitler doomed to fail? because jew wrongs don't make a riech"