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Joke of the Day

"Cop- Do you know why I pulled you over? Me- Because I fucked your mom? Cop- Get out of the car! Me- Wait! Don't I get another guess?"

"[Lie detector] ""You claim you can move an object by saying just one word. Is this true?"" - Yes *needle going nuts* ""I, sir, have been owned"""

"Now that Benedict XVI is out of work... ...like all good celebs, he's releasing a fragrance. Expect to see Popepourri on the shelves this summer."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Suck his dick"

"If iron man and silver surfer teamed up... They'd be alloys."

"What is green and smells like red paint? Green paint. Haha"

"What do you call a stoner that is masturbating? A highjacker."

"(NSFW) All the little children were virgins... .. Except for Kate, her daddy couldn't wait"

"I don't get why there's so many signs around saying ""Free Wi-Fi."" I mean, I've never seen, or for that matter heard of, any Wi-Fi in captivity!"

"What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Nobody eats parsley."