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Joke of the Day

"A venn diagram is a lot like two fat people sitting next to each other... There's never enough space in the middle."

"Never tell someone that it would work out if ""only they lived closer"". Crazy can change zip codes faster than you can change your identity."

"dddddddddd ddddddddd dddddddddd ddd ddddddd ddddd dddd Sorry my keyboard was broken. I fixed it by giving my keyboard some Prozac because it was d-pressed."

"Almost arrived at work when my kid asked ""Where're we going?"" Who the hell did I just drop off at school?!"

"A plateau is the highest form of flattery I'm sorry"

"What do you call it when President Obama and Joe Biden talk shop over a nice dinner? A government man-date. Boom. I'll be here all night."

"Knock knock ""who's there?"" ""Europe"" ""Europe who?"" ""No, you're a poo"""

"if you fap on a plane is it hijacking?"

"Why do Mexicans eat so many beans? Because they're versatile, a good value, and contain lots of protein you racist fuck."

"A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers, and says ""five beers, please"" If you get it you get it"