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Joke of the Day

"What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time? I am not a cook"

"I looked out the window earlier and the sky was bright green. I thought, 'I've got the fucking plane upside down."""

"Cecil the lion's brother was just poached in Zimbabwe That family is like the Stark family of the animal kingdom"

"The Boy Scouts ended their ban on gay adults, which means that soon you'll be able to buy some delicious Boy Scout cookies."

"Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!"

"a girl to her mother: Mom! I was stopped at a red light and got hit by a car! --oh no! who rear-ended you? lots of guys, mom! But can we go back to talking about my accident please?"

"Studies show the effects of divorce on young children are complex. Sadness and anxiety are common, but many are just happy to be single again."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming"

"When I went to bed last night I had 47,000 followers. Now I have 700. Did I spell something wrong?"

"What is the worst thing about locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger."