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Joke of the Day
"The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions"
Next Joke
"I thought I was listening to a Maroon 5 song on the radio when I realized that the radio is off and I need to have my brakes changed."
"Does anyone else believe in solipsism or is it just me?"
"""please human with me"" - bear"
"What's a gay-bar pickup line? Can I push your stool in?"
"My gf just sent me an SMS: ""Spacekeydoesn'tworkcanyougivemeanalternative"" I am really excited but what the f**k does ternative mean?"
"[bank robbery] ""Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?"" TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY"
"A procrastinator's work is never done."
"What did one strawberry say to the other? ""If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"""
"I hope when I get old, my motorized wheelchair is fast enough the catch the ice cream truck."