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Joke of the Day

"The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions"

"My sexual orientation is definitely Landscape. I dabbled with Portrait but my legs got tired."

"Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons? They won't talk no matter how you grill them!"

"*air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: ""This isn't deodorant."" *air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: ""This isn't deodorant."""

"You know why I don't have a spine? The French needed it."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it."

"The difference between Jam and Marmalade [NSFW] Q: What is the difference between jam and marmalade? A: I can't marmalade my dick down your throat."

"Just remember, you can't please everyone. So just focus on what's important, pleasing me."

"The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south."

"Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny."