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Joke of the Day

"[1st date] {don't let her know you're Hitler} HER: what are you going to eat? ME: definitely not seafood HER: did u say nazi food? ME: shit"

"Why did 10 die? 10 was in the middle of 9/11"

"Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? B: What? You aren't doing anything M: sorry I'm super high. What was the question?"

"What's the difference between jeweler, a cut down tree, and a sea captain? A sea captain watches the seas, while a jeweler sees the watches."

"What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport? Miniature golf!"

"If I were Amish, I'd have to convert to Pmish cause I'm not a morning person."

"Man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but saran wrap... The psychiatrist looks at the man and says ""I can clearly see you're nuts..."""

"White girls really love their Pumpkin Spice. Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin spice candles, pumpkin spice president!"

"OCD My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD where all he does all day is organise dinner plates by the year they were made, It's an extremely rare dish-order........"

"Study indicates Percussion as cause of Hard Drive failure. Whacked Drives Shatter..."