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Joke of the Day

"If bank website ads have taught me anything it's that white people love drinking coffee as they pay bills online in an empty loft apartment."

"I work in retail, a married man made me laugh Me: Hi sir, can I help you? Him: Nah I'm just looking for my wife Me: Oh sorry, we don't sell wives here Him: Good! Else you'd get a lot of returns!"

"[g/friends dad] ""who in your opinion is the greatest football player of all time?"" Me - [say a real name say a real name] ""Football Man"""

"What looks like a dog sounds like a dog eats like a dog but isn't a dog? A pup."

"Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they live by the bay they would be called bagels."

"How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day? One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab."

"Dear readers of reddit, What is the best insult/comeback you've ever thrown down?"

"Why would you chase a waterfall? They don't move to different spots you know. It's pretty much just right there."

"""[I] broke up with him because I was sick of justifying his trench coat to my friends"" - Overheard on the bus"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you pick up anything with that?"