181991

Joke of the Day

"I tried kombucha for the first time the other day. It made me feel very cultured."

"I could be a morning person. If morning started around noon."

"A man got hit hard in the head with a bottle of 7up. He's alright though,it was a soft drink."

"The Ghostbusters are women?! This totally compromises the integrity of a story about battling evil marshmallows while dressed like a janitor"

"If I had access to time travel, I'd use it to go back and cash in on some of those naps I was always refusing as a kid."

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck."

"All the people that tried partying 'til the cows come home, are either stuck at home with a cow or dead from alcoholism."

"The spider I let live in my kitchen is letting the bugs run amok. No free rides! Your days are numbered missy."

"I met an atheist that worked for a charity She said it was a non-prophet organization."

"What do you get when you cross an idiot with a watch? A cuckoo clock."