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Joke of the Day

"Did anyone see the transit of Venus? If so, was it a white one?"

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? denim denim denim ( say to tune of Mario song )"

"Age is just a number? I stole $100 from your wallet and replaced it with a $5. Don't worry, they're just numbers."

"I just tried to start my car with my phone. You should know that my car has a keyless ignition. I'm pretty."

"Why do conservatives want everyone to own a gun? They have to justify killings blacks somehow."

"My religious, conservative upbringing taught me that poor people are lazy and the rich are giving. Real life taught me the opposite."

"Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses. He replied,""Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."" Trump 20:16"

"A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer... Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should? A: Stick its bill up its ass."

"You should need a license to be that ugly."

"""I think I have Ebola."" ""JUST DO YOUR DAMN HOMEWORK!"""