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Joke of the Day
"Hitler's proofreader for Mein Kampf was literally a Grammar Nazi."
Next Joke
"What diagnosis did the veterinarian give to the dog with the funny walk? The dog has cerebral pawlsy."
"*installs google translate* *looks at Arabic tweets for jokes to steal* *finds half my tweets doing better than mine*"
"What RoflWhale really stands for. Rolling on the floor laughing while having a lubricated ejaculation!"
"I love it when people use a hashtag at the end of a tweet to explain the tweet. #usingtheliterarydeviceknownassarcasmhere"
"Social media: We're getting rid of chronological order. Everyone: NO! SM: Cool, right?! Everyone: NO! SM: Glad you're excited!"
"What do you call a police officer standing on dog poop? On duty"
"What do you call a pastry with an English degree? A synonym roll"
"Disappointed the ATM didn't shoot out a burst of confetti to congratulate me for having enough to pull out twenty bucks."
"What are 3 things a black man can't get? A fat lip, a black eye, and a job."