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Joke of the Day

"This is joyous. Go to any YouTube video. Pause it. Click anywhere outside the video and then type 1980. Now defend yourself."

"How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house? He's still there."

"You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan."

"All my life, I've wanted to learn how to juggle... But I never had the balls to try"

"I'm the Babe Ruth of the toilet I always get the runs"

"Guns put a Teddy Roosevelt in their barrel when they decide to commit suicide. Stolen from u/nikolaibk in the top comment thread ATM."

"Yesterday, I was told to ""check your privilege."" I did. It's still there."

"Most long freeway drives are spent thinking, ""Who the hell would live here?"""

"The orgy I hosted last night was a real letdown. Nobody came."

"Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."