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Joke of the Day
"How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking? Slow down and use some lube"
Next Joke
"Imagine falling in love with someone and then discovering that he has faith in humanity."
"What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There are too many reposts about both."
"The best part about Netflix is there are no commercials. On an unrelated note, does anyone know how to get urine stains out of a couch?"
"Marriage tip: When times get tough, never tell a woman she needs to ""sacrifice."" Women do not like this term. Always say ""prioritize."""
"Mcdonalds will be serving a new burger which you cant touch. Its called the Mchammer."
"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas... My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas. They got me a Rolex. They clearly misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch."""
"I think armless persons are the best You've gotta hand it to them."
"What does America and Sauron have in common? They are both shit at protecting towers"
"So I'm Calling random stores & saying ""Hey It's Michael, Screw you guys, I quit!"".... There's got to be a Michael at one of these places..."