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Joke of the Day

"It's really cute how my 16 slams her bedroom door, in the house that I pay for, every time she gets pissed off. So...I took away the door"

"Why do all zombies have sprained ankles?"

"Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?"

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the first one that had a dream got shot."

"At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard."

"""Hey man what happened to you, you look like you've been in a fight?"" - ""You should see the other guy..."" ""He was fucking huge, I didn't stand a chance"""

"If a cop tazed me and then yelled ""Raiden Wins!""... I would instantly lose all animosity towards him."

"My kids just connected worlds in Minecraft. So now they can fight in a virtual universe too."

"This is Bob.. Bob has no hands. -*Knock, knock* -Whos there? -Not Bob!"

"Columbus didn't get to India because he was dis-Oriented He found the Americas by Occident."