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Joke of the Day

"My wife has been helping my neighbor hook up his VCR for 3 hours now. Starting to get suspicious... What kind of monster still has a VCR?"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh What do you call a crocodile with no eyes? A crocodle. What do you call an Indian with no eyes? A blind man you fucking idiot."

"[walks into Halloween party with a hot dog taped to my head] ""What are you supposed to be?"" ME: I'm not wearing a costume"

"The man at the grocery store name is Bobby Chubsucker. He was either very popular or made fun of a lot in school."

"Brad Pitt was just telling my friend he liked me & then I woke up so it looks like the best part of my day is already bullshit & over."

"On a hot day, what did the pig say to the other pig after he came back from the car? ""It's bacon in there!"""

"Why are dead baby jokes the best? Because they never get old."

"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken."

"Why do photons travels slower through water? They having a float-on. it very good"

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese phone call."