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Joke of the Day

"If I wasn't too busy adulting... I'd be kidding"

"When I found out my wife was having an affair, I was heartbroken. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow."

"The Wolf of Wall Street broke the record for saying the f-word 506 times The previous record was held by my dad putting together a table from IKEA."

"When did the 100 years war get serious? When the English got Crecy"

"I have never understood why living in the poor part of town... ...makes your skin darker."

"Thigh gap? Give me some corduroy pants and I'll start a fire."

"Whenever I use a racist stereotype, it's blown out of proportion. Just like all the Muslims in the world."

"Trump has so many failed businesses, if he wanted to shut down abortion clinics, he should have just put his name on one"

"What dose a device that makes electricity and a person who likes a comment on caitlyn's face book page have in common? They are both generators (jenner-rater)"

"Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?"