180532

Joke of the Day

"What rock band constantly ends up featured in fold-out pictures in the middle of magazines? Avenged Centerfold"

"Me: Good night, moon. [30 mins later] Moon: I thought you went to bed. I saw you favorite that tweet. Why aren't you reading my messages?"

"What's a Jihadist Muslims least favorite sex position? The Eiffel tower"

"North Korea is becoming like that annoying person that always threatens to close their Twitter account from lack of attention."

"Just once I'd like to wake up as eager to start the day as my p*nis is."

"I stuck a ""Baby On Board"" sign on my minivan to warn the other drivers how fussy and tantrum-y I get when traffic's bad or I miss my nap."

"I already blamed 5 of my problems on Black Lives Matter, 7 on political correctness and 3 on the Ghostbusters reboot. Need more scapegoats."

"What do you call a cat wearing shoes ? Puss in boots !"

"Why did the scarecrow receive a Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field."

"Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight years olds? There's 20 of them."