180410

Joke of the Day

"I was told insence would help me catch Pokemon But no matter how many times I make out with my sister, I'm still not getting any Pokemon"

"What do you call a sheep taking Ambien? Shleepy!"

"I like my women like I like my coffee: All over my lap while I'm driving."

"What's the opposite of the word uncle-off-her? It's an aunt-*on*-him."

"What keyboard layout does Miley Cyrus use? TWERQY."

"Helo, my name is Ma-ma-ma-ma-martin. ""You stutter?"" ""No, my father did and the registrar was an idiot."""

"What is 4,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start."

"What do you call two black men on a videotape? Evidence."

"What do you call two Canadians buy coffee? Double double doubles"

"A woman asked me if I had a cigarette. ""Yes..."" I said, ""But what about your baby?"" She said, ""Oh no. He doesn't smoke."""