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Joke of the Day

"Swimming in the Ocean I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming ""HELP SHARK, HELP!"" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints"

"How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"My wife bought a bunch of cheap camping supplies from a garage sale. This shall be known as the Summer of my Discount Tent."

"I hate whales I was out at sea and a whale almost destroyed my ship, a crewmember said that whale collisions where common in that area. But I'm positive that whale hit my ship on porpus."

"Say ""beer can"" out loud in a British accent. It sounds like you're saying ""bacon"" in a Jamaican accent!"

"Hate it when I can't find my slippers so I have to stand upon the wings of my pet pterodactyl Benedict as he fetches me the morning paper"

"When I saw grown ups in public kissing I'd ask my mom, ""What are they doing?"" Now I wonder the same thing."

"What do you call a gay Eskimo? A snowblower."

"I think the face you make pre-sneeze is the same as when you orgasm."